Most people do not talk easily and honestly about sex. .

Almost everyone experiences stress from time to time, and while a small amount of stress can motivate us, too much or prolonged stress can be damaging to both our physical and mental health.

Sex is something that can bring the two of you much closer at the end of the conversation rather than further apart. That is if you are honestly open with each other. By opening your relationship before you have discussed it you are heading for a disaster.

An open relationship has the possibility of either to bring you and your partner closer together or to increase the distance between you and even destroy the relationship. If you have not developed the skill on comforting, supporting each other in vulnerable emotional places, then consider developing that skill before you are opening your relationship.

02

April, 2020

Sex

Relationship

#openrelationship

 

 

Your sexual relationship

Do you want to open the relationship due to a decline in sex between you and your partner? It is important to discuss and understand why the chemistry between the two of you has decline before opening the relationship.

Sometimes people want to open relationship to avoid a difficult conversation regarding poor sexual communication. Sex can decline over time if they do not start being creative in their sexual routine. Let us be honest, everything becomes boring without change.

Some people think they are not sexually compatible and therefore do not want to explore the various possibilities. They underestimate their own or their partners flexibility. The two of you may not agree on everything but our sexual turn-ons are more malleable than we may think.

The only thing you need to be afraid of is to give up on improving your current sex life with your partner by turning to an open relationship. If you are open to the possibility that with some imagination your current sex life together could grow even as you explore an open relationship. If that is the case, then you have increased your chances of having a successful open relationship.

 

What is an Open Relationship?

The term open relationships are very broad. From swinging to intimate relationships with more than one partner, with the consent of all partners involved (polyamory); are there many subcategories that falls under the term open relationships. But how do you know which category is the right one for you? You can talk to people that are in open relationships and what their experiences are.

There are many open relationship options available:

  • The swapping of sexual partners within a group (Swinging),
  • The intimate relationships with more than one partner. (Polygamy),
  • The intimate relationships with more than one partner, with the consent of all partners involved. (Polyamory),
  • The belief that relationships should not be bound by rules aside from what the people involved mutually agreed upon (Relationship Anarchy),
  • and then just open.

There can be relationships where one person has two partners that aren’t related in a specific way. There can be sort of a triangle where all three partners are in a relationship with each other. 

 

You got to determine what you are comfortable with.

You need to talk to various people in open relationships to see what type you are comfortable with. Why do you want to have an open relationship?

  1. Do you just want to have sex?
  2. Do you want to have a boyfriend?
  3. Do you want to have another long-term relationship?
  4. Are you comfortable with your boyfriend coming over to your house?
  5. Are you comfortable with other partners having sex on your bed?
  6. Are you comfortable with your partner having sex with other partners?
  7. Are you comfortable with your partner’s other partners having sex in your place?

You must look of various aspects and ask yourself questions such as these to see what you will be comfortable with and what will be acceptable for you and your current partner. 

” If you’re opening up your relationship to fix the current difficulties your experiencing, then it won’t work. You need to work on the difficulties you are experiencing and not to expect your new relationship to change those difficulties in your current relationship.”

An open relationship should have a set of boundaries.

To determine your boundaries, you can ask questions such as:What are you looking for?

  1. What you would prefer but is not essential.
  2. What is not acceptable for you?
  3. What kind of safe sex will we practise?
  4. What if someone gets an STI or HIV?
  5. What about living with other people?

 

You got to determine what you are comfortable with.

You need to talk to various people in open relationships to see what type you are comfortable with. Why do you want to have an open relationship?

  1. Do you just want to have sex?
  2. Do you want to have a boyfriend?
  3. Do you want to have another long-term relationship?
  4. Are you comfortable with your boyfriend coming over to your house?
  5. Are you comfortable with other partners having sex on your bed?
  6. Are you comfortable with your partner having sex with other partners?
  7. Are you comfortable with your partner’s other partners having sex in your place?

You must look of various aspects and ask yourself questions such as these to see what you will be comfortable with and what will be acceptable for you and your current partner. 

Emotional Boundaries

Some people may find it difficult to separate physical and emotional intimacy. It is therefore to discuss and set emotional boundaries before going into an open relationship. Aspects to think about:

  • Are you comfortable that your partner has sex with the same person with an extended period?
  • Are comfortable with your partner going on dates with other people?
  • Are you comfortable with your partner having sex with people in your inner social circle?

 

” Al open relationships are different and you and your partner may have different ideas about what is acceptable and what is not. Be honest about your emotional needs and create boundaries that respect those needs.”

Make sure you leave other people out of your discussion.

 If other people make all sorts of plan for you about how it’s going to be, and how other people will react, that is a recipe for disaster because you can’t make rules for people and how they’re going to feel.  People’s boundaries change and you are not carving it in stones.

The rules of your open relationship might change and evolve.

It must be a document that evolves as you get more into opening your relationship and understand what fits and what doesn’t. It should be a document that you regularly revise, but it helps to write it down so people don’t get confuse. You are dealing with so many different feelings and people you need to really talk openly about what your boundaries are your wishes and desires.

 Communication with your current partner is very important.

Without communication you can’t talk about how your feeling, and if you can’t express your feelings, that becomes a recipe for huge conflicts and misunderstanding. Communication needs to be in all honesty. It is necessary to make sure that you both understand each other correctly. Therefore, is it necessary to ask questions such as “Do I understand you correctly” or “Is this what you mean”. Be honest!

Open relationships can be amazing if you do it correctly and for the right reasons.

 

 

Want new articles before they get published?
Subscribe to my Awesome Newsletter.

Other Articles

Lockdown and Depression

Lockdown and Depression

The lockdown period due to Covid19 does have a big negative influence on many peoples lives.Especially those struggling with Depression and anxiety disorder. Each one of us experience each situation differently. Some people feel safer being at home and it will...

What is Frustration

What is Frustration

Frustration is an emotion that occurs in situations where a person is blocked from reaching a desired outcome. Especially if we are in situations such as this lockdown period.  In general, whenever we reach one of our goals, we feel pleased and whenever we are...

Each One of Us Is Unique

Each One of Us Is Unique

We started out with a combination of ingredients that made us different from our brothers and sisters. Over the years people have chiselled on us, chipped, hammered, sanded, and buffed.Just when we thought we were finished products; someone would start shaping us up...